Weekend Stumbling

Wow, I'm so ashamed of how poorly I've eaten this weekend that I'm almost too embarrassed to blog about it. The downhill spiral started on Friday night, after I got home from the movies. I got some bad news regarding a project that I'd intended on doing for a family member, and I started stress-eating. What started out as a minor dinner stumble, which I could've recovered from ended up being a full scale binge late that night.

Saturday...was even worse. I went to a birthday party for my friends daughter, and we normally drink quite a bit. Between the drinking and snacking I totally blew my eating plan. I'm in the negative with my points right now...But last night we also TTC. (Bd'd) which is really no excuse. My judgment was poor and I really should've tried to stay on track. Today, I definitely need to do something active and really really stay on top of my eating plan. In fact, I think I will plan out my week in advanced in order to steer clear of any mishaps this week.

I never realized how weak I get on the weekends, when I am not working, or have much structure. I really just let down my hair and use every excuse in the book to eat freely and make some really bad choices! Well...That is going to change. I need to be a bit more firm with myself if I want to see results.

It's possible I might be pregnant, which isn't going to deter my efforts. I have about 3 weeks of waiting to find out, so in the meantime I am going to assume that my normal diet will continue. I still eat healthily, just too much. I don't drink often, and I no longer consume caffeine, or sodas. These next three weeks will contain ZERO drinking, and I need to be more conscientious of what sort of aspirin / meds I take. I took midol last night because I felt like a headache was coming on, but moving forward, I need to be more careful, until I'm absolutely positive that I am not pregnant.

This whole "am, or aren't I?" is really tiring. We've been TTC for six months, and its' been really hard on me. After I got off the pill in Dec. I gained 10 lbs and ate like there was no tomorrow, thinking that if I "was" pregnant, I didn't want to deprive the baby. After all these months, of thinking that way, I've packed on another 10 lbs. Hence my need to join WW.

This has been a really good exercise for me though. I'm getting a clearer view of my weaknesses and strengths, and can clearly see where I need to be more disciplined and careful. Clearly stress, and hanging out with friends is dangerous point for me in terms of diet. I just need to get my head in the game and not let outside influences have an effect on my eating habits.

I think moving forward, this week and next weekend will be better for me. I want to do better, and I want to improve myself.

Now, in terms of the type of activity I do, in attempt to rid myself of some guilt from the weekend, I am not sure what I should do. Normally I would go for a really hard run, but when I think of the possibility of being pregnant, I get worried, that I'd shake the darn thing out. Stupid, I know, I just really really want this, and don't want to do anything stupid to prevent it from happening. I think maybe a nice hard bike ride would be good for me. I know it's not as many points on the activity scale, but it's really something I enjoy. Or...maybe I'll go for a hike..Not sure though, cause it's really cloudy out right now, and it doesn't look like it's going to clear up.

I do have TONS of housework to do, so that could be good..At least the house would be cleaner :)

Ok. Enough speculating. I need to get this day moving. I promised the hubby a nice breakfast. Lets get out the point calculator...